Corvair Conspiracy

For those of you out there who think there's more to things than meets the eye, I have a story for you. It seems I was caught in a web of conspiracy Monday, one that shows that it's best not to upset the female heart. The major characters are a van, a truck, and an otherwise ordinary appearing refrigerator.

Several years ago we decided we needed a minivan for the weekends and bought a '64 Deluxe Greenbrier - you may recall her from some of my previous posts as "Red Brier". Each spring, we load her up with baseball gear for our Little League players and drive her to practices and games. Nice thing is I can just leave the gear in the back, when It's time to go to an event we're all ready to go. She's gotten quite used to this, and apparently was looking forward to this year's season. Ordinarily I get all the pre-season maintenance done during Jan/Feb so Red is ready to go come the first weekend in March.

Now, the only problem this year is we have been remodeling our rental property to re-rent it this spring, which has consumed pretty much all my free time. Thus, when the first practice rolled around on Sunday, I had to load all the baseball gear in the back of Ellie's truck, which we affectionately named after the character "Blue". Practice went well, and I loaded all the gear up and came home. My guess is that night is when the plan was hatched.

Red: "Hi Blue, where've you been?"
Blue: "First practice of the season."
Red: "Practice? Baseball practice? That's MY job, and you know it."
Blue: "Don't get mad at me. C'mon, it's never our fault."
Red: "Of course, I'm sorry. But what am I to do?
Blue: "Don't worry, we'll think of something."
Mr. Refrigerator: "Maybe I can help, ladies."
Red: "Really? Tell me more!"
Mr. Refrigerator: "Well, what you ladies need is a day when they have practice and something else going on, right?"
Blue: "Yes, that would make them need you Red."
Mr. Refrigerator: "I can arrange it so they run out of milk."
Blue: "And then if I have a little 'trouble' then..."
Red: "They'll need ME again!"

Monday morning my phone rang. It was Ellie. "I'm at the dentist's office and my truck won't start." "Well, I'll come get you." When I got there, it turned out the battery had good charge, but all we got was a 'click'. Jumping the solenoid got the same 'click'. "Ok, we'll get it towed and I'll drop you off at the house," I told her. Then Ellie told me, "We need milk, you know, and I was going to get a bunch of other stuff. I need a car." So we went home, and I got the keys to Red. When I got outside, I turned the key and got really slow cranking and she wouldn't run. Red gave me a petulant look. "Oh, you ignore me and then just show up and expect me to start? Without even checking my oil? I don't think so." She stamped a tire in my direction.

So, I did a quick oil and tire check, then put the charger on the battery. Then I sweet talked her a little bit. "C'mon, let's just get to practice, then you can have a nice oil change on Wednesday. How about that?"

"Baseball practice, why I'd love to go to baseball practice. But not for you. For the kids. They REALLY love me, you know." "Now really, Red, you know we've been a little busy. I didn't forget you. Honest." I replied. "Hmm, well, I suppose. Make sure it's good oil."

When we walked out the door Trevor saw the gear in the van. "We're taking the van? Awesome!"

And all was again right with the world.